Entwined

I wanted very much to keep up with doing this blog twice a week. I see that I am very far behind. The reason is threefold: not being sure what to post, being oh so busy, and being in a funk. I am sure you all get in funks. I am not sure I am out of my funk... but I thought you should know I have funks, and that God is still gracious and kind in my funks. I am so glad He is.

A small part of two songs have struck me lately. The first is from "Center," by Charlie Hall.

We wrap our lives around Your life.

The second is from "The Eleventh Hour," by Jars of Clay.

Take the place of my heart, till I become a stranger to my life.

I was trying to think of a verse that went with this theme, and one of my favorites came to mind. In Exodus 33 Moses was talking to God, face to face, as a friend. God promised to go with them and give them rest. Right after that Moses said, "If Your presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here." I paraphrase that as, "If you aren't with me God, I am not going." In the same way I want to say, "If you are going, I am coming with you." I want to be under the cloud and go when it goes and stop when it stops (Exodus 40:36-38).

I want my life to be so wrapped up in Jesus that I do only what He wants me to do. I want our wills to be intertwined. Even as I write that I think, "NOOO!" in my head. To only do what Jesus wants must mean certain death to some things I want to do. I mistakenly assume that those will be the things I most enjoy. But that is not true. God is gracious and all His ways are good. I promise that going with Jesus will guarantee the most peace for your heart. Your relationships will thrive, you will be a fountain that doesn't run dry. You will make mistakes, but you will be held up by the promise that, "He who has begun a good work in you will complete it (Philippians 1:6)."

I love that Jars of Clay verse. That is what I feel, a stranger to my life. I never would have picked how my life is now. I did not chose adoption (although I love it and advocate for it), God chose it for me. I did not chose to adopt a quadriplegic son (who is one of the three coolest kids ever), God chose that for me. I did not chose to live where I live or my husband's job. What I did chose was to go with God. It became, if that is where You are taking me God, I am going, because I cannot live without You. And because He is with me I do not regret that I chose Him and the life He has chosen me for, it has been and is an abundantly blessed life.

And lest you think I am the picture of perfection lately I have felt like I am on top of a pile of unfulfilled promises and threads of visions that have not happened. I have been confused about many things and tired of certain things; but I am sure of Him. I may feel like an epic failure in some ways, but isn't that where He agrees to meet us? When we come to Him tired of our own ways and not having a clue of where to go He must be so happy. So, bring it all to Him, lay down the thoughts of the day, and ask Him to entwine His life in yours.